Behind Walls Of Ice
by MegHidd
Summary: The whole story to Brain Freezer and how his life shaped who he is today. With almost the whole world against you, does it matter who you hurt as well, or it does it make it even worse? Please read and review. Rated T for language and violence.
1. Chapter 1

Behind Walls of Ice-Chapter One

A story isn't a story if it's about a perfect family with faultless kids and a beautiful house. Where the worst things that could happen to a family is tea spilt on the pool table or the dog crapped on the expensive thousand dollar couch. Even then, they could replace it by tomorrow.

Stories like that are just not as interesting. Although people don't want to read it, I would agree that most of the world would want to live it. Even if it's middle-class, they have food on the table every night, two parents, and Netflix. More than my brother, my sister, and I could dream of. They have loving people that tell them, "Yes you may go hang out with Todd," or "No you may not hang out with Will, he's a bad influence," because they care. My Godfather didn't give a rat's ass about me. He was what he called "toughening us up" when all he really wanted to do was find a way to punch me in the face. My older brother, Dale, started to do the same and I was so afraid I would too.

My real father had wavy brown hair, a long nose, was pale as a ghost, and very thin. When I was born, my parents knew I would grow up to be just like him, Dale always told me that. My sister, Lena, was my Godfather's daughter. We always just considered her more like us than him. Dale was great at first, and then he became angry. He had nothing else to take it out on but me and her. One day he just up and left us and that was fine by me. With Lena though, I always wished the old Dale would knock on the door again and hug her the way he used to.

My mother left my father when I was three. I didn't remember her, but Dale did. That always was a sore subject, so I never pried on who she was. My father started to get sick staying up all night waiting for her to return. He wouldn't eat, didn't sleep, and when he did he cried in the bed alone. That went on until I was eight when he died of pneumonia. He was anorexic, all he did was cough all day, and we had been waiting for the day to come home and he was gone. The afternoon after the funeral, my Godfather was already making us pack. It would be the last time I would have a room to myself. I left a lot of things with it, but the one I seemed to miss, was my big bed and warm covers. I always recall the last moving day:

I was still in my black suit and tie. I keep it from last year when my great grandmother died. It was a little small, but I was told to suck it up so I did. I only had one memory of great grandmother and that was her on the porch and me finding eggs Eater Sunday. I had a backpack filled as fat as it could be with action figures, comic books, and my best friend, Mr. Superman. He was a royal blue and red cat, with a white patch on his stomach. Dale drew an "S" on the front with a sharpie so that he somewhat looked like my hero. Dale was nine, and his contents in his backpack didn't differ than much from mine except he didn't have a hero. His died a couple days ago. I turned around for one last look. When I did, I noticed all the things I was leaving. My Godfather owned the house now. What he was going to do with it I didn't know; probably sell it later when he needed the money. My bed was still there, my covers I took with me though. They wouldn't be the same in a different house. He might as well have bought me brand new everything, because I knew as I stepped into that house of his, they would all be foreign. Nothing would ever be the same again, nothing would ever go right. My bookshelf screwed into my wall was drained of all its picture books of my beloved story characters like Sloth B. Bear and Cat in the Hat. I paced to my closet; all my clothes were packed away in boxes. I saw on the ground my lucky baseball cap. I took out my backpack and shoved it in. I wouldn't dare leave that behind, even though deep down my eight year old self knew it wasn't really lucky. It gave me hope, and that was good enough. I went out the door, letting it click behind me. Dale followed me coming out of his room. At this time, he might as well have had angel wings attached. He acted just like a god. Leader-like, protective, with a bit of his own humor. I missed that about him. His smile fades in my memory as the anger rises up. When we got in the moving truck, I was squished between my new father and my older brother. Lena was back at the house with the neighbor. She wasn't allowed to come to the funeral, her father's orders. He barked a lot of orders on that twenty minute drive. Things like where our rooms were and after 10 pm we can't leave them. No midnight snacks, something our real dad was fond of a long time ago. We do our homework as soon as we get home and we take showers at night because Lena's for some reason uses all the hot water in the morning. I remember looking at Dale beside me. We both had a mental signal to each other- "This will be a long ride,"

**First Chapter- let me know what you think**


	2. Chapter 2

Behind Walls of Ice- Chapter Two

My godfather told us to call him, "Kin." I didn't know what that meant, and for years I spelt it wrong using an "e" and not an "i". Lena finally explained to me the correct way of writing it. I felt so stupid. Because then I knew what it meant, and I didn't like it. I didn't like it the moment I stepped into his house. Kin wasn't married, he drank, and he was an obvious chain smoker. Everything in the house had been tainted with the smell, and it made me sick.

I was ten when Dale developed Schizophrenia. We shared a room together and had since day one. He had horrible nightmares I was afraid of. I would cling to my blanket and pray to God he'd stop screaming. What would stop Dale in the end was Kin coming in and slapping him. He said he couldn't sleep with all that racket going on. Dale, I knew from then on, would stay awake the rest of the night so he wouldn't get in trouble. He was so young, and he didn't know why these strange things were coming into his vision. They just did. I looked it up online and found it was very rare to have Schizophrenia before the age of pre-adulthood. On the other hand, many cases had been found with kids as early as six dealing with it. I could imagine that was hard on them. That hour on the computer sparked my passion for learning and reading. Every month I made it my duty to read more than just comics and picture books. I packed them away in one of the old moving boxes and stowed them in the attic. I said goodbye to Sloth Bear, Sam I Am, and the Ninja Turtles. I found a world with real people and animals that made more sense that a thing that wants to eat green eggs and talking mutant turtles. More realistic that a sloth bear or a cat it a big red and white striped hat that reeked havoc everywhere it went.

When summer let out I had read all my textbook cover to credits and made great friends with the librarian. I headed there before home to return Tom Sawyer and to get another book. She recommended Adventures of Huck Finn, but I declined. I had had enough of Mark Twain for at least a few months. I picked another classic instead and checked it out. I got on my bike, book in backpack, and headed for home. Dale would be there, his middle school class let out a little earlier than my elementary did. When I pulled in the driveway I noticed Kin wasn't home. I thought that was strange, but just to be sure something wouldn't fly into my face at the front door, I went through the back. After putting my bike it the garage, I quietly opened the backdoor with my key. It led to the laundry room, which piloted to the kitchen, and an open doorway showed the way to the dining room. We rarely used it unless Kin was eating in the living room. That's where the dining room directed too. There was no commotion, so Kin was either passed out or not here. When I peeked around the corner I saw Dale rubbing a rag full of ice on his eye. I dropped my backpack and ran to him, sitting in front of the couch.

"What happened, Dale?" I begged.

"My report card, that's what," he spat, pulling the rag closer. On his arm a bruise from yesterday had formed. He wore blue jeans to cover up the gauge wrapped around his ankle from Kin tripping him. I was so tempted to immediately dive towards and rub my bruise, but I didn't. Dale looked at me and smiled. "What's your look like?" I didn't want to be prideful and shout "All A's!" so I tried to pass it off as nothing spectacular.

"Let me see," he pleaded. I rolled my eyes and unzipped the book bag.

"Where's Kin and Lena?" I questioned. I had my report card out of the front pocket and handing it to him when he answered.

"Lena's with the neighbor kids down the road and it's payday for Kin," he mumbled. "It's nothing spectacular? This report card is fantastic! That's great, Jack!"

"Yeah, I would imagine my lowest being 98 is pretty good," I confirmed. I sat on the couch with him. "Dale? What's middle school like?"

"Not as easy as elementary school, but for you? I don't think you'll have a problem. But if any one starts bullying you, come let me know. I'll punch them right in the face!" The doorbell rang and my best friend, Brenna, was at the door. I looked at Dale for permission. "Go ahead Tiger,"

"Tiger?" I puzzled. "What does that mean?" I opened the door.

"Do you want to play?" I shut the door behind me waving to Dale. We went up the hill to the playground on the other side. No one usually went there. The grass had grown so tall my knees got itchy and most of the equipment was rusty. Everything but the swings. "Push me, Jack! Push me!" I took hold of the seat and gave her a good shove. "Wee!" We were both smiling and laughing. The memory is clear in my mind, mainly because I never want to forget every second we spent together.

"So how was your report card?" I asked. She closed her eyes and almost let go of the swing. She told me last month one day she wished she could fly. I always thought that was an accident waiting to happen, but so far she was okay.

"Great for my standards. What about you?"

"Amazing," I bragged.

"Don't get to cocky or middle school will be awful!" I let her down and sat with my turn to be pushed. Her face got a little sad as she asked me her next question. "How's your dad?"

"He's not my dad. More like my fake dad. It's hard to explain, but things aren't so good. Remember when Dale and I told you on payday he goes and buys bad things?" She nodded. "Today one of those days," I finished. She hugged me and patted my cheek.

"Well, we can hang out more over the summer. Hey, did you know that Superman movie is coming to our theatre?"

"No kidding, to our little town? I don't believe it,"

"You better, 'cause the two of us will see it next week!" She kissed me on the mouth. I never knew why she did that all the time or what it meant. All I knew was it made my stomach tighten. "Now, I get to push you,"

About seven o'clock I walked her home. She kissed me again on the front porch and I stuffed my hands in my shorts and walked to two houses down to mine. I looked in the front door window to get an idea of what was coming. Kin was smoking in the kitchen while Lena made dinner. Dale was no where around. I opened the door quietly and tried to get to the stairs before he noticed me. It was in vain.

"Hey, John!" He never could get my name right and I didn't bother telling him what it really was. "Get in here," Sometimes I knew that he did it on purpose, and it made me so mad. Kin would try to get under my skin, and it worked too.

"Yes sir?" I muffled. He blew his cigarette smoke in my face and let me cough it back. Lena shut the fridge and had a glass of juice in her hand.

"Speak up when someone talks to you boy!" he shouted. Dale I could hear was creaking down the stairs incase of trouble.

"Yes-Yes sir," I chocked.

"How was your report card?" I went and fetched the paper from the living room and jogged back to the kitchen. He blew smoke again in my face. I rubbed the bruise from yesterday while he grinned. He dropped the paper and clapped. "You like being the teacher's pet? Or the smart little dork people poke fun of?" I lowered my head in shame. "Let me guess, you went to the library again to see that old hag? She's always been a cougar, but a ten year old? Tisk, tisk…" Lena dropped her cup in the sink and was about out of harm's way when he called her back. "And little Lena also had straight A's. I'm guessin' school be more important than social life? Man, you both will be losers,"

"I'm not a loser," I mumbled. He glared at me, and I could hear Dale face palming himself at my comment.

"Who told you that? Brenna? She's a wreck anyways. Have you seen her mama? If you thought yours was a slut, have many men have gone in and out of that house…man…that's some shit I can get into with what she charges…" I puckered my face up. I didn't want to know…I didn't want to know…somehow, I pictured it wasn't good. He took another puff and let it out. Suddenly I realized that smoke was from a joint. This I knew because he liked those drugs often. I always associated drugs with what we get when we were sick. I never dared took Kin offered, or his friend in chains. "You're a ball less brat who hangs out with a future whore. You've got a good life comin'," I didn't look him in the eyes. He grabbed my cheeks and jerked me so I was in his face. I could see steam coming out of his ears and the way his pupils were doing this weird dance. "I'm talking to you, Jake! You get your act together and you listen to me," I started crying and Dale was at the door waiting to help me fight. But I wouldn't fight. It would take years for me to fight back, to speak out, or disobey him. And did I disobey. "Are you a crybaby, do you cry your way out of things?! You say yes sir and you leave me! Nothin' for dinner but this!" He took his beer bottle and dumped in on my head. It ran down my hair, my back and soaked into my clothes. I was in so much shock I did whimper yes sir and ran upstairs.

Dale followed behind me. He found me about to climb out the window of our bedroom and onto the roof. He stopped me and cocked his head to the side.

"Let's get you a shower," I agreed and was led to the bathroom. I stripped down while Dale sat on the toilet. He told me he had to explain some things to me, things I needed to know before I got into middle school.

"Dale, what's a whore?" He choked and stumbled at first, but he explained it's when a woman sleeps with a lot of men. For a guy though, if he sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a playboy,"

"What does sleep with mean?" I headed for the shampoo. My hair would be fine with the beer on it, but I just wanted to make sure. I didn't say a word as Dale explained the complicated world of sex and marriage. I didn't know marriage was supposed to be forever, even in the afterlife. I always thought it meant until you get tired of one another, then you can quit.

I reached for a towel, dried off, and came out with the towel wrapped around my waist. We headed to our bedroom and both put on pajama's. I know would know what every insult to Brenna and her mother would mean. I would now know what to be ball-less and might as well go sleep with her would mean. My innocence died that day. I would die again years later, but that time it was willingly. I would willingly go and disobey Kin just for the sake of being a rebel.

"Jack, why don't you read your library book, I'm going to go to bed,"

"It's only 8:30, you tired," He climbed in the top bunk and looked down at me. He gave a big sign and I see already dark circles forming. I would remember his response for the rest of my life.

"You'll find, people are tired when life just goes. Whether it was for sleeping to much, not enough sleep, or a heavy day of watching tv or school. Everyone is tired. Tired of wars, of hate, and punishment…But no one will be more tired than I will be till I die…."


	3. Chapter 3

Behind the Walls of Ice- Chapter 3

I rushed home from school excited and full of energy. I didn't walk like normally, but ran with the brightest grin from that went from ear to ear. I caught up to Brenna who had left the building before I did. I had taken an extremely life-altering test to skip the eighth grade and move straight into high school. And I passed with flying colors.

"Brenna, Brenna!" I screamed. She turned around with one hand still on her backpack strap. I grabbed her arms and smacked a big kiss on her lips. Went I pulled away she asked what was the occasion?

"You haven't done that since you asked me to stop in the sixth grade,"

"I passed. No more middle school, no more bullies picking on me about Kin, no more stupid people in my classes-"

"Hey, I'm in your classes!"

"Yeah, but I mean the STUPID people. The ones in the backseat picking their noses thinking they'll find more gold? You're not slow on the uptake, Brenna," We started walking home together. "By the way, I didn't ask you to stop last year. I just wanted to make out with other girls too,"

"And how did that go? Refresh my memory," She stopped, laughed, and held a hand to her ear.

"No one wanted me," She slapped me on the arm.

"Not true, you're just too scholarly for them all," she mocked with a British Accent.

"Am I going to Oxford now?" I joked. "So I'm too academically gifted and strikingly gorgeous challenged?" She laughed some more. We got to her house and she invited me in. It was smallish, and if Brenna wanted it clean, she would have to do it herself. Her mom would never dream about picking up a broom let alone sweeping with it. The first room was the living room like ours but hers had two exits not including the front door. The wall you first face leads to a hallway with bedroom and the only bathroom. The other exit was on the right and led to the dining room, then the kitchen. It was extremely simple. But the colors on the wall were beautiful yellows and reds. A Spanish style ran threw everything and in the kitchen, more or less a café.

"Coffee?" she offered.

"Absolutely,"

"Strong…little milk, no cream and no sugar,"

'You know me so well," I thanked her. I sat on the couch and watched the tube when she came back and handed me a mug. I saw Dale get out of his friend's car a couple minutes later. Dale waved back to him and his mother before they took off. I told Brenna I should leave and she gave me a pouty face.

"Jack…please don't go," She put her mug down and hugged me around the waist. I didn't want to leave. I never wanted to leave that spot with her. _Jack…please don't go…_ her voice echoed in my ear.

"Brenna…I know what you're mom is. And you know what Kin is. Do you ever think…that maybe…" I trailed. She looked up at me, eyes sad and yet curious. "Maybe we could get away from them, just the two of us. Live somewhere remote that they'll never find us? Get married maybe and get away from all of the epitomes of hell in our lives. Not fall in love with anyone else,"

"Jack, I'd love that…but…"

"But what?"

"I don't know. When?"

"As soon as high-school ends for you. I can wait and build up some money until then," She hugged me tighter and laid on top of me. A knot in my stomach formed, was this love?

I cared for Brenna like she was Dale or Lena. But that was family. Blood related. I was way too young to know what love was. When I kiss her, it's more of a, "I'm excited or I want to," not "She's my girlfriend and I sort of have to," After a minute she got up and helped me stand. I walked home, grabbing my backpack on the way, and opened my door. Kin wouldn't be home for an hour or so. I walked to the kitchen to see Dale making a sandwich.

"Hey," he turned to face me and faintly smiled.

"How'd the test go?" he inquired.

"Let's just say…you might have a new student in class soon," He put down the bread and beamed almost as big as I was.

"That's fantastic! Planning on Harvard by sixteen?"

"No, maybe Yale though," Lena came through the door and ran to give us hugs.

"How'd your big test go?" she asked as well.

"Me and Dale are in high school,"  
"Is that good?"

"Very good," Dale commented. "Because I get to split the "Fresh-meat, Fresh-meat!" The door opened and slammed behind us with a loud thud ending all of our entertainment. Something broke on the ground and muffed curses were heading our way. Dale threw away his sand-which before even eating it and Lena backed behind me.

"Shit! What right does he have to say when and where I can and can't fucking drink on the job! I've been there long enough, it shouldn't matter!" He pushed me into the cabinets to get to the fridge. He cracked a beer can and burped. We were all dead silent. Great, Kin's been let go. No job. No income. No money…wait…oh, shit! This was far worse than they were perceiving. "I go back there tomorrow, show them…Wait are you damn fucking kids starin' at!?" He growled. Lena backed behind me again, catching his eye. "You hidin' behind him for a re'son? Like he gonna safe you? I'll show you, Lena! He's weak!" He rushed me and threw me to the floor. I grabbed my throbbing hand I fell on until he snatched it, lifting me up. Dale dashed into the dining room with us, stopping at the doorway. Lena stood beside him crying and screaming.

"Does it hurt, boy?" I quivered, not replying. "Answer me, God damn it!" He threw me back to the ground. He took a cigarette out of his back pocket and lit it with a lighter. Then he grabbed my other arm.

"Stop, no! Please…" I groveled. I hated the death stick treatment. It was degrading, excruciatingly painful, and the worst next to "big boy". He took the butt and stabbed the damn thing into my flesh. I cried and bawled louder than Lena. When he pulled away, I flung backwards. Every fiber in my being wanted to hold my arm for comfort. But that sting of the touch would be worse than the makeshift treatment Dale would try, or the next scar leaving its story, or the ache I'll see in Lena's eye looking at that mark. And all of them would be agonizing. He slapped Dale and Lena, backed away, and kicked me while I was on the floor in the stomach. Then again and kicked me in the mouth. I was bleeding from my gums and lip and wailing like a mad hound on the wood floor. He walked away, cigarette still in-between teeth.

I was on the roof that night. I had been since I ran upstairs after Kin's "ablaze" as he calls it. Setting me ablaze.

"Jack," Dale knocked on the window sill. He climbed up, wrapped his arms around his knees, and stared at me until I did back. When I did I saw he was handing me a wrap of tinfoil. Probably my dinner. I was too afraid to come back down, and if he was in my shoes, he would be to. He signed at the sight of my cracked lip and fresh burn. I didn't dare role my sleeve down to cover it.

"Do you want some cream on that?" he consoled.

"Sure, thanks," I mumbled. I leaned back on the shingles and watched the stars. A shooting star sparked as soon as Dale came back. "Did you make a wish?" he asked me. I shock my head no. "You really should," I closed my eyes and thought of all the things I could want. Would it be selfish to wish for something myself? Or should I wish that Lena would be out of here before us. Maybe Brenna to stop being called a whore? That would be nice for her. No…I needed to be self-seeking every once in a while. It's the human thing to do.

"I wish that by the time I'm sixteen, I won't have to deal with him anymore,"

"You weren't suppose to tell me,"

"It won't come true anyways," I signed. I opened the wrap to fine some cookies. They were better than anything I could have sneak to Dale in return. I nodded a thank you and nibbled on the end of the first bite.

"Why sixteen?" he pleaded.

"I want to be in collage by then…"


End file.
